They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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