I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Randomize
