I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
