it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
