i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
