id be glad to
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
