I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Randomize
