what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Randomize
