i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Randomize
