Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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