She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
You ruined the universe
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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