$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Randomize
