I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Oh god it's open bar.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
