I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
