It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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