You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
