He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
