I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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