if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
