So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
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