We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
