Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Randomize
