when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Randomize
