It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
