I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
This is the high leading the old right now
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
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