some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
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