Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
