Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
