I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Randomize
