I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize
