I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
