you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
where are my pants?
in the oven.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
