so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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