Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
