The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
