I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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