I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
vagina is talking i cant
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Randomize
