i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
