Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
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