i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
