Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
