My sheets look like a crime scene.
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
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