like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night�
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Randomize
