I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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