I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
