you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
He? As in you personified your dick?
Randomize
