i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Randomize
