Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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