Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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