I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
What changed your mind?
Being sober
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
