So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
