I just cut my nipple shaving
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Randomize