Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
